nothing's impossible
just have to find a way

"Farewell happy Fields
Where Joy for ever dwells: Hail horrors, hail
Infernal world, and thou profoundest Hell
Receive thy new Possessor: One who brings
A mind not to be chang'd by Place or Time.

The mind is its own place, and in itself
Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n.
What matter where, if I be still the same,
And what I should be, all but less than he.
Whom Thunder hath made greater? Here at least
We shall be free; th' Almighty hath not built
Here for his envy, will not drive us hence:
Here we may reign secure, and in my choice
To reign is worth ambition though in Hell:
Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heav'n

John Milton, Paradise Lost; Book One
♥♥♥

rien ne pèse tant
que un secret.

Narration of a sleepless night pt. One

Thursday, November 11, 2010 / 10:45 AM

In order.

12:00am - I got French assignments to finish up... oh, right, I've an exam. Be smart and put on a French movie. If you hear it, you'll start thinking it and it'll be be easier.

1:00am - Damn, this movie's good. Mais, j'ai seulment completé quatre devoirs et j'en dix plus que faire.

2:00am - I'm gonna... text Kim.

3:00am - New movie. Kim is funny. I love her.

4:00am - Looks like I'm not sleeping tonight... better prepare myself for a day of delirium and intense zoning-outage.

5:00am - Cinq devoirs que je dois faire pour completer l'assigment. C'est possible que l'examen ira bien... mais je deteste coment elle ne nous dit pas les objectives et les sections qu'il y a dans l'examen.

6:00am - My eyes feel like they've weights and its becoming funner and funner to look out and watch the sun and sky change colors.

7:00am - Breakfast for the first time in... a year. Seriously, I don't remember the last time I had a real breakfast in which I made myself eggs, toast, pas du bacon and du lâit. I figured I might need it since I'm gonna be running on my fumes' fumes. Also... it's nice and quiet and the weather has been ridiculously nice. Sixty degrees in November? In Chicago? Wow. I love it.

8:00am - ... what to do... can't lay down or I'll fall asleep... play Dead Space nah everything I crammed will be erased forever... maybe I should read nah.

9:00am - Drive to school. Sorry everyone on Belmont, you had to stand my loud as hell music. It was to keep me focused and for no one to die?

10:00am - I'm gonna sleep forever after this fuckin' test. Fuck this bullshit. Sleep. Sleeeep. Dormir. *sadness.

11:00 - Study. 'Stuuuuudy.' But first I'm gonna update this journal. Priorities win.

ogni cuore
ha il suo dolore

If you're here, you've somehow managed to stumble across my blog. The word blog makes me think of snooty fashionistas in New York writing about their later escapades in their pink Mercedes so we'll just call this the place were Ria (yours truly) can spit out whatever the hell she wants with no responsibility or thought about who she might be offending.

Also, if you're reading this, you might want to know a few things. This is my fifth attempt at successfully keeping a record of my thoughts and doings - after a few LiveJournals, a former Blog (if you peek around you might find it), and a few paper journals - so, I figure this might be the last chance I'll give myself to write everyday - if not possible then every other day - about what's going on through my head.

N o, you're not handcuffed to a chair. You may leave if you will. ~~Go watch porn.~~

My basic goal with this is to try to flesh out the philosophies, memories, thoughts that make me - me.

Truthfully, I just want to write again. I miss it.