rien ne pèse tant
que un secret.

I hate waterparks. They scream, "WASTE YOUR MONEY ON PLASTIC SLIDES, YOU BORED AMERICAN CEO OF STARBUCKS."

But the slide was fun as all hell. I even liked lolling on the floaty thing on the 'river'. I'll take the beach over this any day.

My biggest pet peeve (I only have three) is when people whistle for me to be quiet. My stepfather does it to my mother and myself to piss me off and every time it's like a slap in the face. I am not a dog. Carlos did it once and he never did it again - we were arguing and I was making my point and he wanted to counter it so he whistled - after I explained how disgusting that is to me.

Ever hear someone suck out what's stuck between their teeth? It's like nails on a blackboard for me. I want to punch the teeth out of the person that does it (my mother... and everyone else).

The events of... a night I will not mention has caused me to become nauseous whenever I see or smell a bottle of vodka. (Okay, I confess. At Carlos' one day we played some drinking game, or tried to anyway everyone was too far gone and I was too far sober to even... try, and the combination of empty stomach, Sunkist and Greygoose, Power Hour and getting elbowed in the stomach led me to hug that garbage can as if it was Allah himself. And I wasn't even done with my first cup.)

I weighed myself yesterday. 132. Think I need to put on five pounds.

Umm... Wisconsin has the shittiest food in the country. No fuckin' joke. That fish tasted like... vinegar and flour and that chicken was the epitome of nasty. I loved the bread and butter though.

One time, I wrote this out first-person narrative style right after it happened back then, I was coming with a few of the women into Fort Bliss when I lived on-base, Ryan thought it would be freaking funny to tell the gate to fuck with me a little. What happened was, Private Booke scanned my ID and following Ryan's instructions, got real serious with me. He then demanded for me to get out of the car, Ryan's, and lean onto the hood of the Jeep, palms flat and wide apart and feet also planted and wide apart. Oh, I forgot to mention there was a line of cars piling up behind us. He frisked me, then handcuffed me, then asked me what was I doing with a vehicle not my own.

At that point, I was livid.

He then took me into the small room behind the gatehouse and sat me down.

When Ryan came in, laughing his ass off, I was smiling a little. When he uncuffed me and escorted me back, I 'accidentally' swung my hand backwards, none too gently, when I was turning around to look a himand caught him in the balls. I will never forget that face. He also cooked his own dinner and slept on the couch that night.

The Dog Whisperer is on. Time to fly.