nothing's impossible
just have to find a way

"Farewell happy Fields
Where Joy for ever dwells: Hail horrors, hail
Infernal world, and thou profoundest Hell
Receive thy new Possessor: One who brings
A mind not to be chang'd by Place or Time.

The mind is its own place, and in itself
Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n.
What matter where, if I be still the same,
And what I should be, all but less than he.
Whom Thunder hath made greater? Here at least
We shall be free; th' Almighty hath not built
Here for his envy, will not drive us hence:
Here we may reign secure, and in my choice
To reign is worth ambition though in Hell:
Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heav'n

John Milton, Paradise Lost; Book One
♥♥♥

rien ne pèse tant
que un secret.

i almost wish someone had taken pictures

Monday, July 12, 2010 / 7:53 PM

I always seem to underestimate people's abilities to complicate the simplest things... to surround themselves with people and situations they hate and somehow still be baffled. Sigh.

I will never understand how she can do that and complain like she doesn't know what the hell happened. It is hard to watch her willingly walk a guy (who gave me the worst vibes I've ever felt) and watch her turn around, just before getting into her car, and look at me with a look that says, 'I'm going to go hang out with this guy and I'm going to regret it. I know it. And you're going to listen to it.'

But I suppose her safety is worth getting up at four in the morning to pick her up from Sneaker's and dropping her off at her mom's. I wasn't angry or annoyed. I just did it.

I could ramble on about us as friends, her as a person and me in relation to her and how amazing it was when we out of the blue decided to play with Caesar in the pouring rain... but I'm a just... yeah. I don't really have words.

ogni cuore
ha il suo dolore

If you're here, you've somehow managed to stumble across my blog. The word blog makes me think of snooty fashionistas in New York writing about their later escapades in their pink Mercedes so we'll just call this the place were Ria (yours truly) can spit out whatever the hell she wants with no responsibility or thought about who she might be offending.

Also, if you're reading this, you might want to know a few things. This is my fifth attempt at successfully keeping a record of my thoughts and doings - after a few LiveJournals, a former Blog (if you peek around you might find it), and a few paper journals - so, I figure this might be the last chance I'll give myself to write everyday - if not possible then every other day - about what's going on through my head.

N o, you're not handcuffed to a chair. You may leave if you will. ~~Go watch porn.~~

My basic goal with this is to try to flesh out the philosophies, memories, thoughts that make me - me.

Truthfully, I just want to write again. I miss it.